3 Ways to deal with insecurity and rejection.
Insecurity, rejection and vulnerability, three of the most undesirable words we want to talk about or deal with but three of the most common things we all struggle with on a daily basis. No person is exempt from this struggle though the degree of struggle varies for each of us. All of us have things about ourselves, mostly superficial, that we don’t like or wish to change; from the size of our bank account, crooked teeth or unwanted belly fat. I wonder how many of us spend as much time or more, perfecting our inside appearance as we do on our outward appearance. Those of us who are working on our whole selves make up a small percentage of people. Chances are, we run into more people who are not than who are. The degree of our struggle depends on what we choose to focus on, how often, and the overall perception of ourselves. For the most part, if you love the person you are, the small imperfections you have can easily be accepted. But those who suffer from acute insecurity will go to extremes to alter their physical appearance. Insecurity is the negative way you see yourself based on your weaknesses.
Insecurity causes you to shrink and cower. Insecurity causes you to draw back. A healthy perception of ones self can allow you to push past your fears. Insecurity tells you that you are not qualified, capable or suitable for a particular task or person. It prevents you from pursuing an ideal job or business venture. Or perhaps you are in overawe, intimidated by a mature attractive woman or an educated successful man. You see, insecurity will tell you that you aren’t good enough, educated enough, pretty enough, smart enough, mature enough or worthy enough to possess the object of your affection. Insecurity will talk us out of making a phone call, sending an email, viewing a website, signing up for a class because we are afraid of being….rejected, shut down, disappointed or turned away. Though nothing can take away the emotions of pain and hurt that are associated with rejection and disappointment there are things we can do to minimize the pain and help us overcome our fears.
#1. Be a person who is always self-developing. Whatever weakness or insecurity you have, do what you can spiritually, naturally, healthily and safely to feel the way you want to feel about yourself. That may mean, losing some weight, eating healthily, taking some classes, reading your bible and going to church. You have to remember, a lot of our insecurities come from a lack of inward self esteem. The bible can be a wonderful tool to shape and strengthen who you are on the inside, building your self confidence and esteem. This will greatly affect your perception of yourself and how you see yourself inwardly and outwardly.
#2. You must be willing to be vulnerable. Vulnerability means you are susceptible to rejection, pain and disappointment. But it also makes you susceptible or open to joy, love, happiness and fulfillment. You can’t let your pain and fear keep you closed off. You have to be willing to pull the wall down. When you close yourself off, not only are you protecting yourself from pain and disappointment but also joy, love, happiness and fulfillment. You can not have love without pain. Pain is apart of love and life. Life is more enjoyable with both. It’s impossible to protect yourself from pain. Even if you are successful at preventing other people from hurting you, you are hurting yourself by being closed off and you will still feel pain but you will be afflicting it upon yourself. We must learn the proper way of guarding our heart as taught in the Word of God. Real maturity is learning how to properly guard your heart, overcoming fear and learning to be ok with yourself and being vulnerable.
#3. Do it afraid. Whatever it is you want to do figure out what the appropriate step is and take it. Be honest with yourself and honest with the people you need to be honest with. Don’t be afraid to take chances. You have to understand that life is full of rejection and disappointment. There is a purpose for it. God uses it to steer us to our destiny. Certain things and people are not meant for you. These experiences are there to bump you in the right direction. I can’t say that you will ever get use to being rejected, turned away or disappointed. But you must believe that there will be plenty of yeses, approvals and acceptance. The bible can provide you with the strength you need to push pass the negative experiences so you can realize the positive ones. This requires faith! If you don’t believe that you’ll have positive and fulfilling experiences, chances are you will not be motivated to do what’s necessary to have them.