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Who's your Daddy?

Gen 2:23 & 24, And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Father: A precursor, prototype, progenitor, to beget, to be the creator or originator, Shepherd. The father is the head/leader of the family. He is the King, prophet and priest of his family. Role of a father: To love, protect, provide, support, teach/instruct, set an example of what it means to be a father and husband, work with his spouse, be responsible, nurture/foster. He prays with his wife and kids regularly. Attributes of a father: Compassionate; gracious; abounding in love; long-suffering; faithful; plenteous in mercy; slow to anger; and a place of refuge and strength. Nurture: to feed and protect; to support and encourage as during the period of training or development; foster; to bring up; train; educate; to promote growth and development. Training the children to discern and hear God for themselves so that when they become adults they will know and trust God because they trust their father. For it was God working through the father showing himself to the children. God’s voice should sound like the father’s voice. Instruct: to furnish with orders or directions; direct; to furnish with knowledge of God, his way and his will for the lives of those he has begotten, those he is responsible for. Responsible: involving accountability or responsibility; answerable or accountable, as for something within one’s power, control or management (often followed by to or for). We are responsible and accountable for what we were created/purposed for. Whose responsibility is it? Every individual has personal responsibility. We all share in responsibility with God for the life we live and the destiny we fulfill. God always does His part but we don’t always do ours, unfortunately many live broken and defeated lives and die before we ever fulfill our destiny. Whatever begets is responsible for what he begets. God beget man so God is always responsible for man. Man beget woman and children therefore he is responsible for what came from him. Ideal: When a woman/daughter or man/son is not married, he or she lives under her father’s roof until he or she is given in marriage. In the home, she submits to her father and receives her life and destiny instructions from him and (other spiritual leaders) as he is directed by God. Not that God doesn’t reveal things to the daughter but what is revealed should also be confirmed by the father or whoever is playing the role of father in her life such as a spiritual father or pastor. God’s directions for the daughter comes through the father/spiritual father/pastor until she is given in marriage and then the husband assumes (responsibility) the role of father to his wife. Women were never meant to not have a covering (father). The person the responsibility falls on for whether or not she reaches her destiny. Who gives this daughter away? This is why in the marriage ceremony the father gives the daughter’s hand in marriage. The father is the one that is responsible for the daughter up until he gives her hand in marriage then the husband becomes responsible for his daughter’s destiny. Therefore it is his responsibility to approve of the man he is giving his daughter to, otherwise God will hold the father responsible and not the husband. Giving the daughter’s hand in marriage means that the Father deems the husband competent and worthy of being responsible for his daughter’s destiny. When a woman does not have a father, spiritual father or husband her head is Christ. This means all of her life and destiny’s instructions; she receives directly from Christ, through his Word, Spirit and the Ecclesia. Her responsibility is to seek the Lord without distraction, be in faith for her every step and obey God’s instructions. When a woman marries a man, he becomes her head. Specific instructions that concern the destiny and vision of the new couple come through the husband. This means she will cease to receive certain things directly from God as she once did. She must now trust her husband to hear from God and lead them to their destiny. This is true submission. It is very important that the woman trusts that her potential husband hears from God before she submits to him, for her destiny will lie in the hands of her husband. This doesn’t mean that God will not reveal anything to the woman but what God reveals should be confirmed by her husband. Ultimately the decisions they make and direction they take is his responsibility. Marry the right man? In the case that the husband is not being the head he should be, the wife may grow frustrated and disappointed for lack of direction. She has married this man which means she has entrusted him with her destiny. It’s not God’s will for the man to get all of his instruction from the wife. Then she would be the head. A lot of times, God will not tell the wife what he should be telling the husband. God can speak to the husband about specific details of her / their destiny. Therefore God will not override the order. A wife’s destiny can change if she marries the wrong man (someone that God did not approve of). God then has to revamp her destiny to fit with the man. So whatever the woman envisioned before she was married, depending on who she marries, she may have to put down that vision and allow God to give her a new one. Usurp not authority over the man! She should not beg God for those specific details or for Him to tell her what He should be telling the man but rather she should submit to God and allow God to show her who she needs to be in order for him to be who he needs to be. Her desires become God’s desires for the husband. As the husband seeks to fulfill her desires he is really helping himself become who he needs to be to become the leader that God has called him to become. If the man is dull of hearing God’s will or is disobedient, God will tell the wife and the wife will tell the man. It is his responsibility to make the correction. If a man will not take responsibility for his own destiny, how can he ever take responsibility for her destiny or his children? The wife isn’t going anywhere without him. A man isn’t ready for marriage until he knows his Purpose! A man’s responsibility is to hear from God concerning his own destiny. Then he must be led by God to trust God to guide him to it. When a man marries, he must see and communicate how his wife fits into that destiny/vision. It is the man’s responsibility not the wife’s, to manage his household properly; getting the instructions, communicating those instructions and making sure that those instructions are being carried out. The wife is the administrator. She performs the instructions, though the Husband must follow up to make sure that his instructions are being carried out. God may give the wife an instruction, one that will cause the man to become what he needs to be. It is the man’s responsibility to recognize the voice of God through his wife and implement that instruction. He writes those instructions down for both to see. Then he must implement that instruction, how, when, why, what and who. Then he must follow up and make sure that it’s being done. Though God holds the man responsible for the wife’s destiny being filled, the wife still has a certain level of responsibility of her own concerning her destiny. She must obey God’s instructions concerning her husband. When the husband does his part, God will not hold him responsible for what the wife fails to do and vice versa. God honors faithfulness. The wife’s responsibility is to receive the instructions and follow the instructions. That is why the new woman vs. Jezebel, craves to be told what to do. Women should not have the responsibility of having to figure out what to do all the time, most times they would rather do what they are told. Unfortunately husbands don’t always hear from God nor have their wives best interest at heart.


This is the Jezebel spirit. Today’s world lacks the presence or role of the father. Women have deceived themselves into thinking that they don’t need a man/father. They have assumed the role of both mother and father developing the idea and attitude that they don’t need a man to tell them what to do. This kind of woman should never have a man. Should a man come into the picture, she will more than likely rule, dominate (usurp her authority) the man. Women call this being independent! Independent thinkers…I can think for myself!!! Marriages were created with submission in mind, one to another. This means, that the woman is to respect the man, allowing him to be the head, submitting to his leadership. The man has to trust that his wife hears from God concerning him. If she is not confident in his leadership capability, then she will not respect him. No marriage can succeed with two heads; one has to submit to the other. If she doesn’t hear from God concerning her husband she can never be the proper help meet and he unfortunately may never become the man God intended him to be. This means the Jezebel spirit’s (knowingly or unknowingly) main objective is to stunt the growth of her man; by cutting him down and hurting him. Jezebel never wants him to reach his full potential because if he does, she will no longer be able to rule, dominate or control him and risks losing him. She doesn’t want to lose him. She’s selfish. She doesn’t want to be alone. Jezebel constantly lives in fear. She knows that her dominance will some day come back to bite her in the butt but she can’t stop. She validates herself by manipulating others. She doesn’t understand that submission is more powerful than manipulation and that there is safety in submission. She doesn’t understand that as a woman, she will never be invulnerable. It is better for her to be vulnerable to God then demonic possession. When you obey God and submit, you have God’s protection and you are only open to him to have more control of you. When you are disobedient you lose yourself and you become vulnerable to demonic spirits. Eventually you may lose yourself completely and be completely taken over by the personality of demon spirits. She doesn’t know that she has a new identity in Christ awaiting her submission.


Jezebel trusts no one. She wants the man only because he serves her purpose. But she will never admit that she needs him. This means she doesn’t understand herself. She doesn’t know that she needs him; for she will never get to where she truly wants to go without him. She doesn’t understand that she sabotages her own destiny when she sabotages his and she looses more of herself in the process which puts her further and further away from destiny! Fulfilling destiny means; becoming yourself, the self that God has ordained us to be. Unfortunately we need each other to do that, this means God created man and woman to be interdependent not self sufficient. A man either marries Abigail or Jezebel one or the other. If she acts like both this means that she is struggling; she doesn’t know who she wants to be. Ultimately her struggle will eventually end and she will become one or the other.


There are three kinds of men: Ahab, Nabal and David. Ahab did a poor job at leading because he always submitted to Jezebel and he never did what he had to do to put Jezebel in her place. Nabal did a poor job a leading because he never submitted to Abigail. David was a great leader though he made mistakes, he submitted to God as well as to his wife. Interdependent: mutually dependent; depending on each other. Self-sufficient: able to supply one’s own or its own needs without external assistance; having extreme confidence in one’s own resources, powers etc A personal relationship with God. Every woman should have her own personal relationship with God vice versa. She very well should so that she can identify whether or not her father or husband knows God to confidently submit to his headship. When a woman submits to the Holy Spirit, her father or her husband, she will always experience favor and never rebuke. Nabal was an example of a husband not submitted to his wife and Jezebel is an example of a wife not submitted to her husband. They both ended up dead!

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